Young Mother
I am a young Mother of 20. I got pregnant with my boyfriend at the age of 19. It was unexpected but it happend. Forgetting to take one pill is what did it. So ladies remember forgetting 1 pill can get you pregnant.
I was very scared when I found out. So many things racing through my head at the time. Like what about college? And a job? What will my parents think and my friends? Or the strangers walking down the street looking at my huge belly? I was afraid of what was going to happen. I had taken 3 pregnancy tests and they all turned out with that + sign. First person I told was a used to be friend of mine. She was considered a sister but we arent friends anymore. ( Thats a different story). The second person I told was my boyfriends mom. You may ask why her? Well I met her before I met her son. I was friends a year or so before i met her son. She was very close friend of mine. When I told her she was so excited because she was to become a grandmother. I felt relieved because it made me feel not so bad and that I knew my parents reactions where going to be a little different then hers since we grew up in two different backgrounds.
I had called my boyfriend to tell him we needed to talk and he was like "what are you pregnant" not really being serious and i said "yes". So we were both scared. He came home and we both just sat and thought in our heads about this huge responsability. I cried for a very long time just thinking about everything. No more going out whenever i could, no more parting. Any of those things were to stop. Im not a big party goer but still even the times i wanted to go i wouldnt be able to anymore.
I got over my fear pretty quickly about college and all the other things because there was no going back. Abortion was not an Option in my mind. It wasnt the fetus's fault I got pregnant and therefore i was not to kill it because of my actions. I started thinking about financial issues and what kind of mother I wanted to be. I baught books and a DVD and did my research. i read every night and every week about how my little one was growing. It was a wonderful experience.
The first time I felt him kick was awesome. It was the first time i knew he was really there and not something that was imginary. He reminded me of what im going to be taking care of in a few months. Not just myself anymore. he got biggger and the kicks got stronger so did the realization of becoming a mother. That wasnt the only thing though...the pain had become very hard to stand. I had to quit my job because of all the pressure on my kidneys. It was very upsetting because i was losing my sorce of income. i couldnt go out and get a dinner or get some new clothes for maternity. i had to turn to my dad which was painful because i was to be supporting myself. I was to be the adult but he offered and the help was really nice and helped my stress levels come down.
For 6 months I couldnt sleep on the bed because if i laid down it would put so much pressure on my back and hips it felt as if they were breaking, being pulled apart, and smashed all at the same time. The closer the due date came the eager i was to push him out lol. I couldnt handle the pain anymore it was putting me into tears every other night.
Finially the day came when the doc told me i was to be induced. It was a very scary thought and also exciting because i was able to finially meet my son. I got admitted and my Boyfriend and I got set up in our room. It was very comfortable. our town is 1 of the top 10 birthing centers in the country. We had a great docter and the best nurses around. So everything went very smoothly.
Took me 18 hours to get him out. 4 hours to push which is 2 hours over the limit. I was so exhausted by the time he came i was seeing double. He weight 9lbs and 5 oz. He was pretty darn big hehe. But he was adorable and i just couldnt take my eyes off of him.
Now he is 7 months old and a just such a joy to be around. He smiles and laughs ALL the time. He lifts you up when you are down. God blessed me with such a wonderful gift i dont like saying he was an accident. he doesnt feel like one so i dont think he was one. He has helped me mature a lot and shown me love that I didnt think exsisted.
It is hard being a mother at 20 the financial struggles really come down on you. We cant afford a day care so i watch him so that means only one income from my boyfriend which means less money to pay the bills. I know things wil get better but right now its so hard. Im just glad though we can still support him even if its really hard. We also have a huge family that supports and loves us so that makes things a little easier as well. the three of us live at my dads because we cant afford to move out and live in apartment. Its very kind of my dad and its a huge house with lots of space but at times i wish we could have our own little place. I was denied food stamps because i live here. It was very hard for me to hear that. I cried because we really do need it. We needed it so the money we are paying my dad now we could put towards our bills and use the food stamps for our food instead. My dad cant pay everything for us. he has his own things as well.
Anyways that is my story. I have a wonderful little family with a beautiful baby boy. Next time you judge a young parent first think about it. They are still people. most of them try their best to be the best parent for their child. Just because they live at home doesnt mean they are getting everything that they need. Because im not. My dad still expects rent money and for us to pay for own bills and to clean the house. :-)