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LuckySakura

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LuckySakura
Joined
09 Jan 2010
Posts
6
Location
United States
PostedMay 08, 2010 10:30 am

Our Tales chapter one :) (draft)

Everyone has something the want to share ,well here's ours :)
Everyone has a tale, a begining. Well here's ours, "Fighters of Saphael". The battle raged on merciless, uncaring of everything and everyone surrounding it. Everyone had a role to play even the novices. Berserkers and Paladins protected the outer city of Kaslow, while the Rangers and Assasins fought off the demons attcking Jale. The healers helped defend Illya with the Wizards and Necromancers by their side. Even the Sprite Kings battled draining their powers. As the day wore on, everthing was slowly tearing apart. More and more armies of devils and demons were coming from Pandora to seize the world of Saphael.

This is only a rough draft and i would love to have feedbacks on improvement Smile
PM AngelicDream on siropas ch1 or write on this post plz Smile Thanks for helping Very Happy
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620061

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620061
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14 Jun 2008
Posts
1758
Location
Canada
PostedMay 08, 2010 12:55 pm
improvement: could be longer and not just demons and devils Razz

LuckySakura

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LuckySakura
Joined
09 Jan 2010
Posts
6
Location
United States
PostedMay 08, 2010 1:20 pm
620061 wrote:
improvement: could be longer and not just demons and devils Razz  

yea Very Happy its a draft so i need as much feedback as i can thanks btw

Kirranly

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Kirranly
Joined
09 Mar 2010
Posts
5
Location
Australia
PostedJul 18, 2010 7:06 pm
getting all the different classes working together is a cool idea. why dont you focus on how they use their different strengths to help each other?
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