Halloween Safety Tips for 2007
1. Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke.
2. In the event of a power outage, do not wander off in search of the reason. In particular, do not search the basement.
3. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it alone.
4. As a general rule, don't solve any puzzles that open portals to ****.
5. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
6. Do not accept ANYTHING from the dead.
7. If you find yourself in a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. DO NOT stop and look around.
8. When running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch you.
9. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, moaning “BRAINS”, and so on, kill them immediately.
10. Stay away from the following geographical locations: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, and the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine.
11. Do not stare into a mirror and chant mystical names or phrases.
12. When a disembodied voice tells you to GET OUT, do it.
13. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never, ever check to make sure it's really dead.
...Be safe out there.