Basically when I want to complain I will post here. Likely about my body and etc. issues, just didn't want to start a tumblr for this and no other site works as well as this :p.
Well today I really hate my body. I don't understand why my shoulders seem so big, or my shoulder/upper arm ratio is so huge. I know I'm a bit overweight, and I do think that losing weight may help a lot, but I am really worried that it will not solve that problem. My legs look really nice though, but my stomach is a bit fat. My face is also..... a big too big or etc, but I also do not know if weight loss will solve that at all. My hair is just crazy, and all over the place with no real sense of style or direction. Straightening it looks like sht, and leaving it alone also makes it look just like "wow you didn't come your hair! what a poof ball!". There's nothing to be done about it, so hopefully my hair cut in 6 weeks will help a lot.
I need to lose weight instead of just complaining about all of this stuff like I usually do though. I started taking ---------- 3 days ago now? and it does feel good. I don't feel nearly as hungry, and I did lose a bit of weight I think. But I am a bit worried about the side effects, I know they will only get worse. At this point though I don't really care too much if I die or something from it, I guess maybe I would care at the time, but right now thinking about that possibility doesn't faze me at all. I just need to utilize the decreased appetite from that stuff to actually eat less. My goal is to lose 10 lbs by the time the semester ends in 45 days. So it's like a 45 day diet plan. By the end of summer I need to be down at least 25 lbs, hopefully 30-50.
Even though I hate my appearance so much and dislike my life right now, I just don't have the tools or time to change it at all. I think I'm going to just try to wear more sweaters or bulkier clothes that don't reveal so much, so that I can hide myself so I don't have to see in the mirror. I need to stop worrying about looks in general, and just keep taking --------- and lose weight. Maybe after school ends in 45 days I can worry more about exercising and makeup and etc. sorts of things that right now are just a waste of time for me. I'll focus on video games and school to distract me from my personal problems.