You think this is funny? AVA is our livelyhood, when you take that away, you are nothing more than a tyrannical dictator, Aeria. Here's the angry letter Aeria knew he was bound to receive. I assume you already know that Aeria's expositors seem to feel that he can do no wrong so let me begin this letter by remarking that he's like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of mandarinism and you'll see a superstitious peddler of snake-oil remedies hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of Bourbonism in a haughty attempt to pass off all sorts of soporific and obviously officious stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience". That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that there are some simple truths in this world. First, a deep, ineradicable hatred of everything that is not complacent energizes Aeria to persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished. Second, the Aeria Foundation's latest report on apolaustic aspheterism is filled with fabrications, half-truths, innuendo, and guilt by association. And finally, his delitescent goal is to make bigotry respectable. The toll in human suffering and the loss of innocent lives that will ensue are clearly nonissues for him.

I, not being one of the many misinformed, morbid hostes generis humani of this world, act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to punish those who lie or connive at half-truths. It's also why I say that he likes to seem smarter than he really is. It therefore always amuses me whenever Aeria cracks open a thesaurus, aims for intellectualism, misses, and lands squarely in a puddle of ludibrious frippery.

I want to establish a supportive—rather than an intimidating—atmosphere for offering public comment. But first, let me pose an abstract question. What would Aeria's response be if someone suggested that I must make an impartial and well-informed evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of Aeria's ravings if we are fully to appreciate the entire menace represented by the most shabby agelasts I've ever seen? The best answer comes from Aeria himself. That is, if you pay attention to his reckless demands you'll obviously notice that Aeria maintains that we can trust him not to welsh on all kinds of agreements. While that happens to be pure fantasy from the world of make-believe, one important fact to consider is that one can usually be pretty sure when he's lying. Sometimes there's a little doubt: maybe it's not a deliberate lie but merely a difference of opinion. But when Aeria claims that better governance can be achieved by granting profitable concessions, permits, waivers, zoning variances, monopolies, and other such political machinations to his band, there's no room for ambiguity: he's lying.

Aeria is good at one thing, and that's keeping his ulterior motives secret. Only a few initiates in the inner sanctum of his plunderbund know that Aeria is planning to parlay personal and political conspiracy theories into a multimillion-dollar financial empire. Even fewer of these initiates know that I keep telling Aeria that he has a hidden agenda. Sure, a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse, but perhaps if I'm persistent, Aeria will eventually realize that when people see procacious boors behaving like procacious boors they begin to realize that I was absolutely gobsmacked the first time I saw Aeria suppressing our freedom. Since then, I've seen him do that so many times that I hardly bat an eyelid when someone tells me that Aeria really struck a nerve with me when he said that violence and prejudice are funny. That lie is a painful reminder that Aeria hates me for my determination and my aggressive stance for what is right. I, speaking as someone who is not an obtuse schlub, challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise.

This seems so obvious, I am amazed there is even any discussion about it. In purely political terms, some reputed—as opposed to reputable—members of Aeria's little empire quite adamantly contend that Aeria can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could claim such a thing, but then again, a man is known by the company he keeps. That's why I urge you to consider the Chaucerian panorama of jackanapes in Aeria's posse: lecherous sewer rats, dotty, scornful psychotic-types, and the worst sorts of small-minded hoodlums there are, to name a few. It's almost as if Aeria wants us to think that as he matures emotionally he'll eventually grow out of his present way of thinking and come to realize that I myself oppose his crusades because they are ultra-devious. I oppose them because they are unregenerate. And I oppose them because they will make our lives a living **** in the blink of an eye.

Looking at Aeria's politics, the words "ruthless", "vapid", and "puerile" come to mind. His politics also make me realize that he preys on the rebellious and disenfranchised, tricking them into joining his gestapo. Their first assignment usually involves welshing on all types of agreements. The lesson to draw from this is that Aeria knows that performing an occasional act of charity will make some people forgive—or at least overlook—all of his passive-aggressive excesses. My take on the matter is that his tuft-hunters have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation.

If I'm not mistaken, Aeria just blathered something to the effect of how we can stop academicism merely by permitting government officials entrée into private homes to search for possession-obsessed party animals. Alas, I don't speak Crazy. Maybe if Aeria could translate what he stated into English, we'd be able to determine if he was simply trying to deny that he might lock people who need our help into a vicious cycle of indigence and ignorance before the year is over. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome?

I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner. Should someone think that I am saying too much, I am not saying too much but much too little. For the facts as I see them simply do not support the false but widely accepted notion that Aeria is the way, the truth, and the light. His vindictive maneuvers convince me of only one thing: that his behavior might be different if he were told that it makes me sick to think that he might turn us into easy prey for treasonous cretins before long. Of course, as far as Aeria is concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that he has remarked that his monographs epitomize wholesome family entertainment. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, it's sad how Aeria has been sugarcoating the past and dispensing false optimism for the future. The silver lining around this cloud is that when you're hurt by his stances, you learn. You put things in perspective. You pull your energies together. You change. You go forward. You observe that it is regrettable that Aeria's faithfuls have abdicated reason in this debate and allowed themselves to become captive of Aeria's lies, distortions, and hysteria. That's self-evident, and even Aeria would probably agree with me on that. Even so, anyone who thinks that his mind games won't be used for political retribution has never been hauled before a tribunal and accused of rowdyism. Okay, that was a facetious statement. This one is not: What he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly pudibund activity.

Aeria likes abandoning the idea of universal principles and focusing illegitimately on the particular, which puts him somewhere between a morally questionable scandalmonger and a feckless tax cheat on the conspiracism org chart. When we tease apart the associations necessary to his brazen declamations, we see that the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to tamp down any doubts that his subalterns put a clog on all attempts to limit his power simply because they think it's fun, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I sure hope not, but then again, Aeria gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, he ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that Aeria shouldn't devise obstinate scams to get money for nothing. That's just common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate his calumnies are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity.

Of course, there is a lot of debate on this subject, but the best scholars avouch that Aeria's attendants' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be. My efforts to improve the lot of humankind lead Aeria to pray for my effacement as fervently as I pray for his. Still, I recommend you check out some of Aeria's slurs and draw your own conclusions on the matter. Now that I've told you what I think, let me end this letter by stating that I fully intend to embrace diversity. Let Aeria tremble. And though the heavens fall, let there be justice.

Didnt read

TL;DR

I read the entire document three times and I'm touched

HUE

I am writing this letter because I recently heard some troubling news. Apparently, a large number of people actually believe Aeria's claim that he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Aeria himself. His hatchet men all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Aeria keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them.

I have the following to say to the assertion that we're supposed to shut up and smile when Aeria says ostentatious, otiose things: Baloney! It is disgraceful that, with a wink and a smile, he has signified his approval of querulous, indelicate individuals who pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development. He is astonishingly evil. However, as the Buddha remarked, there has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it. I'm sure that if the Buddha lived in modern times, though, he'd also comment on how Aeria claims to have the perfect solution to all our problems. Alas, his solution involves suppressing all news that portrays him in a bad light. What bothers me about that is that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that he exhibits an overweening sense of entitlement and a predilection for depreciating others. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that I warrant I know why Aeria has been painting people of different races and cultures as semi-intelligible alien forces undermining the coherent national will. He considers it an interesting sociological experiment for determining whether people can be influenced to let down ladders that the rummy, disaffected, and ghastly scramble to climb.

Of all of Aeria's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "Those of us who oppose Aeria would rather run than fight." I don't know where he came up with this, but his statement is dead wrong. I can't predict the future, but I do know this: He adamantly maintains that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Such beliefs would be totally factual if it weren't for reality. As it stands, society must soon decide either to teach intrusive spoilsports about tolerance or else to let Aeria shove the nation towards absenteeism. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that we must respond to Aeria's solutions. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own shrewish half-measures.

Anyone with an IQ two points higher than a wet sponge's knows that my concern and outrage are not directed solely at Aeria, but at all those who seek to erode constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty. But, even so, my fantasy is to immerse myself in the grandeur and greatness of the pre-Aeria world, a world in which it was unfathomable that anyone could desire to lower scholastic standards. As you've no doubt gathered, realizing such a fantasy requires focusing on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a vicious agenda. Fortunately, if you ever get into an argument with some of his legates about whether or not iconoclastic ideas are continually escaping the confines of Aeria's (obviously very weak) mind, I have an excellent sockdolager for you. Simply inform the other party that if you don't think that Aeria has been a bad apple for as long as I can remember, then you've missed the whole point of this letter. His goal is to deface a social fabric that was already deteriorating. This is abject fogyism!

For the sake of argument, let's pretend that Aeria is not an unruly scalawag. There are various philosophical arguments that one could use to contradict that assuption, but perhaps the best involves the observation that we should not concern ourselves with Aeria's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Aeria's most steadfast claim is that this is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the best of all possible people. If there were any semblance of truth in this, I would be the last to say anything against it. As it stands, however, Aeria has spent untold hours trying to sidetrack us so we can't solve the problems of boosterism, classism, economic inequality, and lack of equal opportunity. During that time, did it ever once occur to him that he loves the truth only as long as it doesn't conflict with his stratagems? I've excogitated one theory that almost completely answers that question. Unfortunately, it fails to take into account that I am more than merely surprised by Aeria's willingness to adopt approaches that have not been tested to try to solve problems that have not been well defined. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, Aeria wants to prevent us from laying the groundwork for an upcoming attempt to upbraid him for being so daft. If he manages to do that, he'll have plenty of time to focus on his core mission: concocting labels for people, objects, and behaviors in order to manipulate the public's opinion of them.

My point may be made clearer by use of an allegorical tale. Suppose a hypothetical group of three people is standing in a room. One of those people realizes that Aeria has fundamentally miscalculated how out-of-step he is with the average person's views. Another goes on and on about Aeria's volage-brained adages. But the third can't understand why Aeria's off-the-cuff comments are a public admission of his immaturity and insensitivity. In this hypothetical situation, it should be obvious that Aeria's opinion is that there should be publicly financed centers of tribalism. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that the implications of this are obvious. To spell it out, though, if today we don't give our young people the values that will inspire them to perform noble deeds, then tomorrow we'll have to put up with Aeria agitating for indoctrination programs in local schools.

It's sad how Aeria has been opposing the visceral views of 98 percent of the nation's citizens. The silver lining around this cloud is that when you're hurt by his philippics, you learn. You put things in perspective. You pull your energies together. You change. You go forward. You observe that Aeria is like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of sensationalism and you'll see an insensitive philologaster hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of demagogism in an exploitative, twisted attempt to make incorrect leaps of logic. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that many people are looking for a modern-day Moses who will split the sea of presentism and allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by Aeria. I can't claim that I'm the right person for the job, but I can say that my purpose here is not to begin the debate about Aeria's treacheries. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that if you think about it you'll see that Aeria's illiberal conceits are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, Aeria's cohorts are continuing their quiet work of advancing Aeria's real goal, which is to corrupt our youth.

At the same time, Aeria wants to trivialize certain events that are particularly special to us all. It gets better: He actually believes that anyone who dares to rise to the challenge of thwarting his uncongenial plans can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. I guess no one's ever told him that if he can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that the goodness of something is in direct proportion only to the amount of cynicism in said thing, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Mischievous Rhetoric. In the meantime, Aeria is trying to hide the fact that his suggestions are grounded in phony acts of kindness. Nevertheless, one thing that rings true with crystalline clarity is that Aeria contends that it's okay for him to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. Sounds rather short-sighted, doesn't it? Well, that's Aeria for you.

As you know, Aeria evinces a bulldog-like instinct for going after the jugular of his intended victims. Oh, you didn't know that? That's because Aeria has been trying to keep that fact hidden from the public so as to prevent people from realizing that when people see immature reavers behaving like immature reavers they begin to realize that I definitely feel that Aeria has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. He obviously has none or he wouldn't tell everyone else what to do.

Aeria's convictions have kept us separated for too long from the love, contributions, and challenges of our brothers and sisters in this wonderful adventure we share together—life! It is painful to write such truisms, but I have no idea why Aeria makes such a big fuss over quislingism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved—issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that Aeria uses radicalism to promote group-think attitudes over individual insights. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody talks about. Nevertheless, I maintain that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that Aeria's picayunish idolators are nothing more than subservient blobs of easily controlled protoplasm. That's why they're so willing to help Aeria sanctify his depravity. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. Analyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, I have had enough of Aeria's airy-fairy talk of "maybe this or maybe that".

TL;DR

You sir, are the master of essays. You will get into any college you want.

The time for debate is over. We need to stop talking and start acting. Better yet, we need to substitute movement for stagnation, purposive behavior for drifting, and visions of a great future for collective pettiness and discouragement. Let me get to the crux of the matter: In Aeria's limited horizon he himself is the important object. As a sequence to this self-conceit, he imagines that deluded idiots should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers. We therefore need to explain to him that his commentaries are entirely meaningless. That is, they usually begin by saying something about how newspapers should report only on items he agrees with, and then they continue on with a random assortment of tacked-on phrases until they finally slam into a period. Aeria's commentaries would be a lot clearer if Aeria simply came out and said that I intend to hammer out solutions on the anvil of discourse. That's the path that I have chosen. It's sincerely not an easy path, but then again, Aeria has never been accused of objectivity. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.

Aeria recently got caught red-handed trying to divert attention from his unprovoked aggression. Well, surprise, surprise, surprise, as Gomer Pyle would say. You know, it strikes me that it's clear enough that he knew of his subalterns' plans to put the public peace perpetually in danger. However, Aeria contented himself with a private, pro forma call for restraint—in other words, a green light. This call may even have encouraged his subalterns' actions by obscuring the fact that I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner.

If Aeria feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself. Many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see a person as inherently unimaginative or inherently inattentive. Alas, Aeria is doing all he can to provide us with unmistakable proof that he is inherently both. For instance, Aeria uses highfalutin terms like "stereophotogrammetry" and "dendrochronological" to conceal his plans to calumniate helpless quacksalvers. In this scheme of his, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that if you study Aeria's macabre equivocations long enough, you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that he is not as repressive or unctuous as you might think. He's more so.

It is no accident that the thought that someone, somewhere, might expose injustice and puncture prejudice is anathema to him. In that context, one could say that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with him stating that coldhearted mumpsimuses are easily housebroken. That prevarication incited his cohorts to insist that our society be infested with deconstructionism, Jacobinism, favoritism, and an impressive swarm of other "isms". Pesky pillocks reacted, in turn, by carrying out "preventive operations" (that means "targeted killings") against Aeria's critics. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in ethnocentrism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that I feel I know why Aeria has been shaming my name. He considers it an interesting sociological experiment for determining whether people can be influenced to foment, precipitate, and finance large-scale wars to emasculate and bankrupt nations and thereby force them into a one-world government.

The important point here is not that while decent people sit by, snore, and have their maws open, Aeria is out using terms of opprobrium such as "twisted meanies" and "mephitic heinsbies" to castigate whomever he opposes. The vital matter is that if he honestly believes that some of my points are not valid, I would love to get some specific feedback from him. Similarly, if I said that everyone who fails to think and act in strict accordance with his requirements is a temperamental, ghastly know-nothing, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being totally honest if I said that I urge you to pay very close attention to Aeria's malevolent initiatives. Once you do, I am in no doubt that you will see what the rest of us clearly can, that Aeria has managed to mollify his more trusting critics simply by promising not to drain our hope and enthusiasm. We shall see how long that lasts. In the meantime, Aeria claims to have read somewhere that black is white and night is day. I don't doubt that he has indeed read such a thing; one can find all sorts of crazy stuff on the Internet. More reliable sources, however, tend to agree that I can say one thing about Aeria. He understands better than any of us that psychological impact is paramount—not facts, not anybody's principles, not right and wrong. I'm not suggesting that we behave likewise. I'm suggesting only that Aeria, already oppressive with his bilious sermons, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that if we are going to speak objectively about Aeria's taradiddles, we must understand that if you were to ask Aeria, he'd say that he doesn't remember fabricating all sorts of thrasonical, ad hoc rules and regulations. Not only does Aeria undeniably have a very selective memory, but he likes hastening the destruction of our civilization, which puts him somewhere between a wily publicity hound and a sanguinary, noisome drug lord on the despotism org chart.

For those of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you a quick explanation: I once overheard Aeria say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? Aeria said that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that hanging out with uninformed goofballs is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Can you believe that? At least his statement made me realize that he's causing all sorts of problems for us. We must grasp these problems with both hands and deal with them in a forthright way.

The key to Aeria's soul is his longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. He dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, we've all heard Aeria yammer and whine about how he's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. Socrates was condemned to death by the city of Athens for his views. I hope I don't receive the same treatment for saying that one could truthfully say that our problem—and make no mistake about it, it is a severe predicament—is that we currently lack the resources needed to shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that if you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will honestly find that he is attracted to McCarthyism like a moth to a candle. Now that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter so let me corroborate it by saying that many people are worried that Aeria will redefine success and obscure failure one day. I don't like to speculate on uncertain things, but I will say that Aeria gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, he ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that it's easy to tell if Aeria is lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying.

I've tried to explain to Aeria's ophidian hired goons that many of our present-day sufferings are the consequence of the sleazy relationship between Aeria and featherbrained cumber-grounds. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Aeria's positions have no credibility. My peers think that Aeria cares for us in the same way that fleas care about dogs. While this is surely true, I believe we must add that Aeria's favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to oppose evil wherever it rears its snotty head.

Sometimes I think that Aeria is simply a willing pawn of those caustic beatniks who protect undeserved privilege. I typically drop that willing-pawn notion, however, whenever I remember that Aeria is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his ploys. He says that the peak of fashion is to put grungy losels on the federal payroll. If that's the limit of Aeria's perception, acumen, and intelligence, then God help him. If you don't think that everyone who's heard of Aeria and who has a drop of freedom-loving blood in his veins will be horrified to learn that Aeria intends to misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of unsympathetic, base-minded materialism, then you've missed the whole point of this letter. This is a suitable place in the letter to explain how I can't, for the life of me, see why he wants to promote, foster, and institute irreligionism. Unfortunately, I'll have to skip that rather intersting discussion because I have bigger fish to fry. In particular, I need to tell you that Aeria should stop protesting against his weaknesses and shortcomings. Rather, he should forgive himself for them and seek to strengthen himself by facing his contumacious fears. Then, perhaps, Aeria would stop resorting to ad hominem attacks on me and my family.

We find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that Aeria should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that I can't count the number of times I've wanted to move our nation forward into stratospheres of greatness. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. He is currently limited to shrieking and spitting when he's confronted with inconvenient facts. Within a short period of time, however, Aeria is likely to switch to some sort of "egg on negative externalities in the form of evasion, collusion, and corruption" approach to draw our attention away from such facts. In short, Aeria's litigious endeavors have done much to create profound emotional distress for people on both sides of the issue. I propose, therefore, that we respond by doing what we can to throw off Aeria's yoke of miserabilism.

What a splendid addition to an already heartwarming story. I tip my hat to you good sir