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fayXrae

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PostedJan 07, 2013 7:24 pm
ah lol so like you think the sister should've got a faked death as well? since they would both disappear, one having ran away the other one ending up in some academy. what talented ppl? Dx

-rae writer
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fayXrae

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PostedJan 09, 2013 8:12 pm
bump

even if this is the crappiest story u've ever read, saying that is so much better than no feedback

*crickets*

feel like giving up on this thread

-rae writer

fayXrae

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PostedJan 11, 2013 1:33 pm
*bump*

oh don't give up Rae writer~ Sigh... why is there this story/writing section if no one at least try reading.


clarification of why the sister didn't die, like i said the first paragraph, the summon is absolute, either death or going. So if they fake death both of them, her parents going die. You'll find out the reason if you have continued reading.... >.<


*Fay writer here*

fayXrae

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PostedJan 12, 2013 7:06 pm
thoroughly sad

-rae

fayXrae

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PostedJan 19, 2013 9:58 pm
i wonder if reverse psychology works LMAO
....
*hence the title change*

twigz12

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twigz12
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PostedFeb 07, 2013 4:25 pm
well. the title did work because iread your story sorta.

I like the idea of two people writing a short story together and i dont mind the different colours lol.

I did stop reading after a few paragraphs however. English is obviously not your first language and while i can give allowances for that, i kinda lost where your story was going. One time the guy(girl) was at the airport, then they evacuated, then he was somehow inside, then the student was going to murder the guy incharge of the school, then he was looking at his room in the school? not sure how he got to his school, what happened to the airport and the murder? perhaps i could have found out if i had read more, but the huge jump really confused me.

you are not worthy to see this signature

fayXrae

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PostedFeb 10, 2013 3:54 pm
twigz12 wrote:
well. the title did work because iread your story sorta.

I like the idea of two people writing a short story together and i dont mind the different colours lol.

I did stop reading after a few paragraphs however. English is obviously not your first language and while i can give allowances for that, i kinda lost where your story was going. One time the guy(girl) was at the airport, then they evacuated, then he was somehow inside, then the student was going to murder the guy incharge of the school, then he was looking at his room in the school? not sure how he got to his school, what happened to the airport and the murder? perhaps i could have found out if i had read more, but the huge jump really confused me.  


wow well i totally gave up on checking this (or editing/updating the story for that matter) since i figured nobody would be reading it. this is the person who wrote the parts in the BLUE font color btw. so the majority of the part you're talking about wasn't actually what i wrote.

well up until the "blacking out" (i guess she like fainted while at the airport and they did something with her so her memory of the incident was lost--like some operation at maiku itself) hence after her fainting she was brought to maiku (by jordon and ppl i guess) while unconscious still. the other writer and i usually explain what happened in the paragraph to each other if it's hard to understand. tbh i'm pretty sure that i was confused af at that point too and i had to clarify with the other writer a bunch so i could know what exactly happened.

and english is the 1st language for the both of us, fay writer just has some 'interesting wording'. the other person, "fay writer" revised the beginning a lot but that doesn't have much to do with what you were confused about so
thanks for reading and leaving a legit comment haha
~rae writer
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