NOTE: Please ignore our older recruit thread. A lot of the information on there is outdated. Also, please be sure to read the entire opening post before you send me a message asking to join.
Obsidian, At a Glance
- A hard, dark, glasslike volcanic rock formed by the rapid solidification of lava without crystallization
The Obsidian Guild (n.)
– The fiery rock of badassness which stands as the foundation for everything awesome, idiotic, enjoyable, depressing, aggravating, and heartwarming in MMO gaming.
Obsidian, When you Stare
So here's the story. Obsidian (formerly known as PaperMoon) is a semi-serious, social guild of predominantly older (18+) North American players who have been playing various MMOs together for years. We like to stick together even after any one particular game gets boring, and, as a result, we ended up with this neat little family of players that have stuck together through thick and thin.
Mostly thick. Sometimes thin. Often disturbing.
We initially got stoked to play Lime Odyssey back in January (of 2012), but the developers lost steam and the news on the game dried up. So we lost interest. Now with the news that the game is going to be starting up sooner rather than later, we’re ready and willing to start things up again.
Here's a guild synopsis in a super awesome bullet list.
• We are friendly, loyal, active, and have no problem helping each other out, but we have little patience for people that like to start drama or can't take a joke.
• We like helping out new people, but we hate it when people try to take advantage of our generosity. Constantly begging for help (or throwing a tantrum when you don’t get help) is a good way to get on our bad side. Fast.
• We are a guild of individuals, with different interests and therefore different tastes in games. The list of people who are and have been members is very extensive, and, with few exceptions, members come and go as they please. Not all members of Obsidian will play the same game, and by extension, not all members of Obsidian will be playing Lime Odyssey. Please keep this in mind.
• We play a lot of different games as a guild. Some of the current games we play are: League of Legends, Minecraft, Halo 4, Pathfinder (the tabletop game, we just play online), Asda Story 2, and various minigames on OMGpop.
• We try our hardest not to make things personal, but expect a bit of ribbing if you join up with us (some of it crude).
• We have zero tolerance for poor sportsmanship (mob dropping, kill stealing, flaming other players), cheating (hacking of any kind, bots), and personal attacks (including but not limited to: attacking an individual based on their race, ***, age, opposite/samesex interests, or religious/political beliefs; sexual harassment of any kind; or attempting to force your beliefs on guild members).
• We actively support any guild war like system, but we avoid fights that have the potential to have drama.
• We’re big on boss raids. We like taking down the big baddies with our friends and allies.
• We place a great deal of value on understanding others. We will only judge you on how you conduct yourself in game, regardless of who you are in real life. And (fair warning) you will be judged.
• We have a neutral attitude towards guild alliances. If you want to ally with us, just let me know. We’ll try it out and see if it works.
• Above all, we don’t take ourselves, or each other, too seriously.
So in the simplest terms, we're looking for people that want to play the game and make friends with some solid, interesting people.
Guild Rules and Regulations
So here are our major rules.
Thou shalt not attempt to purposely enrage any other player, especially fellow guild members.
Thou shalt not beg. Like I said before, we like helping people out, but please do not take advantage of our generosity. You’re certainly welcome to ask for help, but please do not run to me kicking and screaming if someone does not want to help you.
Thou shalt love cookies.
Thou shalt be a good sportsman and a good, active player. We're here to play, and we play to win. Do not start problems with other players if they kick your ***. Just go level, get some new shinies, then come back and show them who’s boss.
Thou shalt not start drama. I cannot stress this enough. I will kick you out so fast your outsides will become your insides, and your entrails will become your extrails.... and... PAIN. LOTS OF PAIN. (Seriously, it's a pet peeve of almost everyone in the guild. Don't do it.)
Thou shalt be awesome. No excuses.
Thou shalt realize that this rule is here to take up space in my attempt to think up ten rules.
Thou shalt realize guild master (myself) and guild officers reserve the right make on the spot rulings regarding any potential situation or breach of guild conduct. If you feel like you've been treated unfairly by any of the officers, please do not hesitate to come talk to me. (And yes, I do realize that there is no rule eight).
Thou shalt use common sense. In actually, this should be the only rule, but there are always those who need the rules spelt out for them (I am not, of course, referring to you, dear potential guild member). If it seems like something you shouldn't do, don't do it.
Requirements to Join
In the past, we were really slack on recruiting on who we let in (i.e. we accepted pretty much everyone who wanted to join). This gave us a little more drama then we liked to deal with, so we’re going to try something a little different this time around.
• First off, we’re going to put an age limit on our members. For now at least, we will only be accepting guild members age 17 and over. (For the record, I don’t actually need to know your age. I trust you. )
• All members must be willing to use Ventrilo. You don’t necessarily have to talk in Ventrilo, but you need to be able to run the program. A significant portion of the guild has this aversion to typing things in chat, and it makes raids/guild pvp annoying if you’re not there to listen in.
• All members will be probationary members upon first joining. After a week or so of being in the guild, the guild officers and I will meet and discuss whether or not you become a permanent member. ((I wouldn't worry too much about this one. Unless you cause problems, refuse to download ventrilo, or generally act like an *******, its doubtful we’d decide to kick you. This is more for people who join and then disappear from the face of the earth).
• We won’t have any limitations related to in-game factors (level, class, etc.). We’re not that kind of guild.
I want to make it very clear that we don't care very much about things like a person’s level or power, just as long as you are active, can be mature when the situation calls for it, and don’t tick the guild off. We don't really kick people either, unless they go inactive (and that's just to make space for other players, and not due to anything personal) or they cause problems, and even then, we tend to give a lot of second chances.
That being said, it’s important that I give you fair warning. Anyone can join Obsidian, but being a member of Obsidian isn't for everyone. Sometimes there’s a personality conflict that will cause long term issues between members. If that happens, the guild officers will take appropriate measures to make sure things are resolved (in extreme situations, this can mean someone is kicked from the guild).
How To Join
For now, at least until the game starts up, if you wish to join up, send me a message with the following:
• Your favorite two or three colors (color scheme for your guild post entry)
• Your gender (because I get tired of guessing)
• Your favorite breakfast cereal (Just because I can. DANCE PUPPET, DANCE!)
Meet the Cast
Here’s a list of the currently active members of Obsidian, along with a short description of each. Just so you get an idea of the kind of people we have in the guild. We have more members then this, these are just the ones who have indicated that they wish to play Lime Odyssey.
ZenFishy [Sergeant Sardine] - Guild Leader
Your overworked, berated, and constantly silly guild leader. His stupid ideas to promote the guild and manipulate the system almost never seem to work, but he tries his best. There are rumors that he is not actually a member of the sardine family, and is indeed a cod, but he vehemently denies such vile slander. Also, keep him away from PvP. He gets baaaad gamer rage.
The 13 Secret Styles of Moogle Fu
He wrote the thread!
Zanist [Badass Overlord] - Second In Command
He turns white into black, black into white, yellow into fish and cupcakes into llamas. Since he gets the job done, there has to be a method to the madness, but we've yet to figure out how exactly it works. Be careful when starting a conversation with him. He has this tendency to corrupt your innocence while simultaneously droning on like an 8th grade math teacher.
Spin to Win
Famous Last Words:
“Well, you see, the way that class works is you have to invest seven skill points in burning rain while investing five points in dark sunder to give yourself some versatility. You see, while some may argue that force field is the superior option….” (at this point, everyone has muted Ventrilo)
Catzy [Flower On the Wall] - Guild Secretary / Artist
Catzy is the silent mistress of artistry, magical blasts, and all things tiny, poofy, and cute. Her weapons of choice include sticks (with which to maim) and rocks (with which to pelt). She has what is quite possibly the cutest voice in this or any universe. She is also the guild leader's girlfriend and the resident guild wallflower. As such: No touchy.
“Neo Kyu Kyu Beeeeeeeeeeaaaam!”
Myst [Amazon of the North] - Recruit Liason
Stubborn? Yes. Proud? Yes. But she's sweeter than ice cream and generous as the year is long. Still, I'd be careful. She bites sometimes. And she corrects your grammar. And spelling. And reminds you that you still haven't added her name to the guild list...
“Actually, Fishy, you’re wrong.”
Things that Irritate Her:
Egotism, guild names that consist of two words, telling her that her boyfriend is from Puerto Rico, the word brigade, being called "Schwarmy Pants," being called "Super Schwarmy Pants," licorice, celery sticks, and all things "Foo Foo."
BlueMoon8 [Cupid's Sniper] - Guild Assassin
The guild’s bubbles. Yes, I said bubbles. Blue will be the one with ninety different characters that she'll make, level and never use again, all of which will be higher level than you. A sweet girl as clueless as the day is long, she's the guild's little sister. If, you know, your little sister had a weird obsession with knives and grenades.
“Special Attacks? That’s lame. GRENADE!”
Famous Last Words:
"Zen, if you make out with Cat at my graduation, I'm going to kill you. Okay?
Sakura(aka Satsuya, Satty) [Wanderer From the East] - Guild Samurai
Sakura is the guild's samurai. I'm not really sure WHY we need a guild samurai, but he insisted and people agreed. I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that a samurai is manly and Sakura is a girly name. But, I could be wrong here.
“Actually, I’m a guy. No... seriously. Totally a dude.”
Eastern Style Secret Art: Drifting Blade Slash
Beefeater [Uncle Hillshire] - Guild Sergeant-At-Arms
Our resident old man and one of the guild’s longest standing active members. He's the guy who always manages to say the funniest thing at the best possible moment. I swear he secretly plans these moments out, but I’ve never been able to prove it.
Beefy Hammer of Love!
Famous Last Words:
“I’m gonna go **** my ice tray. Be right back.”
Chasity [Princess Cupcake] - Internal Affairs
You know those people that just exude positivity and happiness and sunshine? Who are so utterly optimistic that you can't help but smile every time they talk? Well, Chasity lives on rainbows and rides around on a magic sunbeam. I am not kidding. I have seen her do it.
Super Rainbow Cupcake Swirl Surprise!
Linx [Bloodstained Mousette Priestess of Summerset Valley]
Welcome to the stage the wild, crazy, inappropriate Linx! Her hobbies include dropkicking, plushie collecting, raging, crying, and feeding her demonic bunny. And maiming. Don’t forget the maiming.
Well… it doesn’t really have a name… she just hurls the Monty Python bunny at you.
Lucielle [Lord of the Ocean]
All tremble in fear before the dreaded Lord Lucielle, master of crabbiness and ruler of all who are doomed to be eternally grouchy! His sword swings are deadly, but his sarcastic remarks are deadlier still! …In retrospect, he might just be grumpy because we make him tank all the time.
“Go find someone who cares.”
Sound Made by Enemy When Lucielle Uses his Finishing Move:
Ruztedshut [Grandpa Rustbucket]
Rusty is the oldest man in MMO gaming history. In fact, I'm pretty sure he played the Everquest Beta. This guy is so old school he played MMOs before there was an Internet. If you add in the fact that he watches My Little Pony and subtract the awful haircut... well, you have one pretty awesome dude.
Famous Last Words:
"You people and your fancy schmancy, new-fangled MMORPGs. Story? Why, back in my day, you had to grind for weeks on end to level once! We didn't have anything like a STORY! And we didn't have none of this "ergonomic equipment." NO! We just sat on a stack of bricks and used and old typewriter!"
"Friendship... is..... POWER!" (Facepunch)
gurzy [Colonel Spam]
So like, Gurzy is kind of a special (idiot) person. He has difficulty communicating with other intelligent life, so he tends to repeat the same thing over and over. And over again (idiotically). He also happens to be one of my oldest friends, and a **** amazing MMO player, so you’ll have to look past his faults (idiocy). He's also not really an idiot (...Wait what?)
"spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam"
A long walk off a short pier into a bowl of jello pudding (banana!).
ChilledDarkness [Lord Iceberg]
In this corner, weighing in at the relative weight of a large block of ice: The King of Frost. The Captain of Cool. THE. ICEMAN. Chiiiiiillllllllllleeeeeeed DARKNESS! Oh. Look. He melted while I was riffing. That’s a shame.
Famous Last Words:
"No. I will not use my superpowers to lock the guild leader in a eternal frosty prison. You can't make me."
Valeskyalf [Spear of Eloquence]
Master of the argument, speaker of truth, and lord of the written word, Vale manages to make the most eloquent, thought out statements while managing to offend absolutely no one. It kind of makes me jealous. I mean, I'm pretty sure that English isn't even his first language.
Famous Last Words:
"Four score minus thirty-six years ago, our guild founder, Zenfsihy, had a dream. That one day, he would have a guild where everyone would be free to pursue life, liberty, and pursue the level cap..."
SylverRain [Apricot Showers]
Sylver's relatively new to the guild, but from everything I've seen she's pleasant, clever, and enjoyable to be around. And suspiciously faultless. I mean, she hasn't given me ANY ammunition for her description. So I can't think of anything funny or clever for this one. Sue me.
What ZenFishy says when tasked with the job of finding funny stuff to say about Sylver:
XxApocalypticxX (aka Treasure) [Pandora's Box]
Whatever you do, don't open the box. I REPEAT. Don't. Open. The. Box.