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05 Jun 2010
Osceola United States
PostedOct 05, 2012 2:45 pm

Order of the Templar Knights {Story} {Final Remake}

The final remake of my story
Hi guys, this is the final remake of my story. I will be updating it and it will e my final version. I know many of you may know me, and many of you may not. I've written this for many days, and I've checked it and I think its presentable. I also do think you all will enjoy it, because I love it. I am very content with it. I Do know it is not perfect, but your feedback is very appreciated since I'm still young (1Cool, and am an aspiring writer. So enjoy!

Note: Only Prologue and Chapter 1 are ready so far.


Its the year 590, there are 5 mighty nations that rule the continent, alongside much more small nations. The Templar Order, The United forces of Galia, The Nation of Uniboros, The Kingdom of Ruruno, and the Tailizian Empire. Currently the Templar Order and the UFG are in an on-going War due to boarder difficulties. The Templar Order has a huge amount of Military Power, making them a primary target for other nations that may have dreams to take over the continent. The Templar people have always considered themselves to be guardians of the continent of Abira. During these troubled times, Angel and Demon weapons were forged from a new found rare metal called Arcium. The metal is said to be the strongest on Eden, granted to the humans by the gods in the heavens themselves. Angel and Demon weapons can have huge impacts on battles. The Templar Order now collects these weapons, and give them to their vassals. The trust the Order puts in them is high, for becoming a Lord is no easy task.

“Quickly, this way!” Shouts a Captain as arrows block out the sunlight in the sky. The battle began at early dawn, and now isn’t looking good for the outnumbered Templar Knights. A soldier next to the captain is struck in the back by an arrow, his body falls over lifeless. The captain frowns. They were set up. They were on their way to reinforce Lord Elden’s army, the youngest and one of the noblest lords in Templar history. It’s as if the enemy knew where the Templars would be. War cries can be heard in the distance, the Captain and his unit of seventy-four turn retreat, for behind them stands an army of two hundred and fifty men charging after them. The men stand out in their blood red armor; it shines in what little sunlight there is in the forest. Their allegiance is easily identified to be to the United Forces of Galia.

The captain and his men keep sprinting, attempting to get away from the larger army. Another Galian arrow volley whistles through the air, hitting their targets. The Templars fall back in and are trapped into a C shaped canyon. The captain orders his men to halt, soon they are surrounded by the Galian soldiers. The Templars turn around, ready for a fight to the death. They’ve done their duties as soldiers, and will die like soldiers now. They are not intimidated by the enemy, instead they welcome their deaths. Dying for Templar is one of the greatest h honor. “Ready your weapons men, for tonight, the crows will feast on the rotten flesh of Galians!” yells the Templar Captain. He raises his fist up in the air and shouts.

The other Templars join him in the war cry. A man steps out from the crowd of the Galians, he wears officer armor with a black and red wool cape. It has the insignia of Galia on it, which is a fist as if leading a charge. The man steps forward a few more steps, then, shouts at the top of his lungs “Templars! Surrender now or you will die where you stand!”. The Captain is just about to tell the man off, when an arrow pierces the man’s throat. The man falls over, dead. Standing atop the canyon are lines of Templar Bowman, all aimed at the Galian army. Standing beside the bowman is a boy, his hair is silver and his eyes are blue. He looks to be of around age 19. He holds a Blue long sword in his hand, which is raised up in the air as if about to give the order to fire a volley.

“Galians, you are on Templar land, and I highly advise you to leave immeditly, before you end up like your little…officer there.” Says the boy, gesturing to the dead Galian officer. The faces of the Galians are masked by their helmets, but it is obvious that they are enraged. They charge the army on the ground; the Templars stand steadfast and ready their blades. “Fire!” Yells the boy. A wave of arrows hits their targets, a few men of the Galian army falls wounded or dead. The Galians clash into the Templar Knights, filling the air with war cries and the sounds of metal hitting metal, or metal hitting wood. The two forces battle together down there. The boy looks from atop the cliff, then he is approached by one of his men. “Lord, the lines are ready.” Says the soldier. “Good, lets get going.” Replies the boy, smiling.
Ropes are tied to heavy rocks on the cliff, the Army on the cliff scale down and joins the battle. The captain is in the middle of the melee, slashing down Galians who come near him.

The ground is littered with the the blood of the Templars and Galians. The boy walks into the melee, looking calm and collected. A few Galians charge the boy, the boy parries their blows with east, then he slices them down and continues walking. The Captain is fighting off Galian soldiers with his men, his holy white armor is soiled by red liquid, blood. The teenager walks up to the Captain, who is breathing heavy. “Good day, is it not?” says the teen. The captain looks at the boy, then his eyes widen with understanding. The Captain kneels in front of the boy. “My Lord…Why are you here?” says the Captain. The young lord looks at the man, then smiles to himself. “I’m saving my subordinates of course. What kind of leader would I be if I couldn’t protect the men that serve me, that fight for me?” Says the Lord. “Thank you for saving us, Lord Elden.” The Captain says, kneeling still. Elden only nods, a Galian charges the two Templars, The Captain is up in an instant and thrusts his sword through the Galian. The Galians fall lifeless to the floor. “My name is Tyroc, sire. I’m here to serve you.” Says the Captain. Elden nods, then extends his hand. Tyroc grabs his hand, and so their hands embrace in a hand shake. The fighting is now over, and the Templar army is victorious with little casualties. “Men of Templar, form ranks. Now is the time for us to march to Joustlin! The town is being sacked and raided by the Galian army, and we must protect our people, now forward!” says Elden, while continuing to examine Tyroc. Tyroc looks to be around age 36. His face is hard and scarred from battle. He wears a regular Templar Captain uniform, which is holy white armor, with a black cloak on top of the armor and a shield on the shoulder to symbolizes his rank as Captain. He also doesn’t have to wear any head gear, as men of higher rank are often on the frontlines. The Templar army begins their march to Joustlin, and to a battle that could change the fate of Templar.
End of Prologue

Chapter 1

Swords clash together throughout the burning village. Tyroc sidesteps a sword strike, then uppercuts with his blade. The Galian falls over dead. Around him, Templar troops fight off he Galian invasion. The village is ablaze, it’s buildings consist of forty three houses, a granary, a manor which is atop the hill of the village. The houses surround the hill and manor. All of it is aflame though, and the Templars doubt that any of It can be saved.

A Templar soldier next to Tyroc slashes down a Galian, the Galian falls against a tree and dies. Around him are clashing blades everywhere, his ears ring with echoes of the sound. His hands bleed, they go numb from holding a sword so long, from cutting through flesh, from fighting to survive. The battle has been going on for hours now, ever since Lord Elden’s army met up with Captain Tyroc’s unit. The army marched to defend Joustlin from invasion, the battle has been a bloody one. Bodies of both, Templars and Galians, lay among the ground. Crimson liquid oozes from their wounds, the liquid cold itself. Chipped swords lay among the ground, shields are splintered across the field, arrows are lodged in trees, windows, and corpses themselves. Spears are broken among the fields. Every weapon the Templars can muster has been brought to this battle, a battle that is critical to winning the war.
Elden sidesteps a slash, and then he strikes horizontally at a Galian. The Galian flinches, he raises his hands to futilely defend his face. Elden stops in mid slash, then runs his sword straight through the neck of the Galian, granting him a painless and merciful death. Elden actually disliked slaying soldiers. The taste in his mouth was more than enough reason to not want to, but the main reason is because he just doesn’t like to kill. He doesn’t like to, but he has to. As a retainer of High Lord Rak, High King of Templar, he has sworn to slay the enemies of Templar. These cowards are included in the list, even if they slay the innocent. The tides of battle are turning on the Templar’s side. Their men are slaying more Galians, they are motivated, angered, enraged. By the time the Templar army arrived at the village, many villagers were slain. Next to Elden is a dead girl, she wears a one-piece pink cloth that stretches from her shoulders to her thighs, halfway to her kneecaps. The cloth has a flower design on it, lilies. She lies against a tree, with an arrow that is pierced in her flesh. Other peasants lay in the area; a few of them were equipped with pitchforks and shovels, which they used to attempt to defend the village. Others were caught by a sword or arrow in the back, many have slash wounds. Some were even burned alive inside the houses, that counting to set ablaze. The remainder of the villagers, the ones still alive, who are mostly women and children, watch behind Elden as he and his elite knights defend them and fight of the Galians.

One of the Knights beside Elden parries a blow, then uppercuts the Galian. He dies instantly in the attack. Another Knight blocks a blow with his shield, but isn’t given any time to recover, as the blows are constant from the Galian attacker. The Knight’s legs buckle under the weight of the blow. The Knight falls to the ground while the Galian moves into a position over the Knight. He then thrusts his sword into the Knight’s chest, who howls with pain. He dies a few seconds later.

Tyroc, who is covered in sweat, holds the village square with thirty three men against Galian troops. The battle there is looking grim for them, as the Templars are already worn from the battle the day before. The Templars, who are equipped in holy white armor, with a black cloak over the shoulders, fight to their last breaths. One Templar slices through a shield and kills a Galian. Another uses his duel blades to parry a blow and slits the neck of another Galian. Tyroc raises his sword in the air, and screams “Rally men of Templar, fight for your lord, fight for King and Country, fight for your people!” The Templars scream war cries and fight harder, for they know if they lose the battle, the lives lost here will all be in vain. Something out of the corner of Tyroc’s eyes moves, he hears the scream of a Templar beside him. Tyroc looks over to see a man in blood red armor, armored from head to toes. For a moment, he is stunned. The man is the stunning image of Lord Elden. If his master were a few years older, then he would certainly look like this. The man looks over at Tyroc; he sees the resemblance in his eyes. He readies his sword and begins to walk towards the Templar Captain. Tyroc readies his blade, not about to fall victim to this man like his subordinate. The man attacks, Tyroc is on the defensive. The two clash blows, both attacking, both trying to kill each other. Tyroc slashes at the men, who blocks and counter attacks. Tyroc defends with all his might, holding him back but having a hard time. Whoever this guy is, he is no amateur with a sword. Sweat drips into Tyroc’s eyes, which begin to burn. His arm muscles scream for him to stop trading blows with this man. Tyroc is now breathing heavy, his vision is going blurry. The man sees a gap in Tyroc’s guard and attacks. He slips past his guard and strucks Tyroc in his left rib; he falls down grunting and holding it. The man walks over and picks Tyroc up by his throat. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Margrant, a duke of Galia. Now, will you kindly tell me where he is?” Says the man. Tyroc struggles to breathe, his hands reach for his throat, but there is no success. “Tell…you where…who is?” struggles Tyroc. The man only smiles, then his lips move to form the words. Tyroc’s eyes widen in horror as he reads the lips of the man. “Where is my brother, Elden?”

End of Chapter 1
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