Congrats with the level 91 and 2000 population
I'm in an alliance and enjoying the communication part as well, but I'm here mostly to play, not to chat, and it looks like to get any game action I have first to spend 8 months attacking wilderness, upgrading buildings, and doing silly quests. By the time I get level 90 you'll probably get a level 120, become crazy, and burn me out of the game.
Sorry, real life came along and kicked my butt for ignoring it.
I'm glad you like the people in your alliance but there's more to alliance support than chat. The cohesion, knowledge sharing & mentoring, item trade, leadership, and back-up are a big help too. If I had to do this without the help of my alliance, I'd have made a LOT more mistakes (some painfully expensive ones too in both time and potential gold) and would not be anywhere near where I am now. The end result of that would equal me being a lot more frustrated at & with the game. If you like your alliance but think they could do better at the above, maybe you can help them get better.
As for me becoming an evil warlord and oppressing you; I'd only dominate you if our kingdoms are a war. Or if you asked very, very nicely...