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alpharex00

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alpharex00
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11 Jun 2011
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2318
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Istanbul Turkey
PostedApr 04, 2012 1:03 am

Diary Of Rex [BOOT CAMP]

My First Story
It was my first day on Paien team(Blue).I had to go boot camp.They trained me in the pre-made maps.I remember names of maps;Paien lab and Arival.They gave me some weapons named C-95 and KEI 2 and they gave me other equipments like nade,pistol etc...They said you are almost done.But I saw just 2 tutorials when i read the paper,i was confused.Then i saw someone is coming with a jeep.When he left the Jeep i saw he is a Major.He said 'Soldiers!Some of you did a great job!Now you're coming with me.Others can go back to their home.'
I was just a corporal.Major asked my name.I said 'My name is Rex,commander!I'm waiting your orders.'Major said'Get on the car soldier!Call me Major Smith!'Then i get on his char.Some soldiers came with me too.They took us to a lab.I think it was Paien Lab but there were more people and it was better.They took us into a room.I didnt know what were they doing .They took me into a capcule or something like that.I was afraid and then they took me into another room.I couldnt feel my legs and arms.Then something happened to me.I thought it was an earthquake.Then i saw i was hairy(lol wolves are hairy).Then i saw myself in a weird place.I was transforming creatures.Then i noticed that i had to capture bases.I did and I found my self in Paien lab again.Major met me there and said 'Well done soldier.Now you're a great member of Paien team!'I was happy then i want to sleep cuz i was tiered and i didnt slept for 32 hours.Major said that i've got a room in Paien Boot Camp.

Please leave feedback if u liked it.

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Imagion.

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Imagion.
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Melbourne Australia
PostedApr 04, 2012 2:10 am
Hey,

I could actually imagine this. Rolling Eyes

alpharex00

Rank 4
alpharex00
Joined
11 Jun 2011
Posts
2318
Location
Istanbul Turkey
PostedApr 04, 2012 2:10 am
Imagion. wrote:
Hey,

I could actually imagine this. Rolling Eyes  


You mean u liked it?

need awesome siggy?:Rex's siggy shop LuckyBox

Imagion.

Rank 4
Imagion.
Joined
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Posts
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Location
Melbourne Australia
PostedApr 04, 2012 2:12 am
Hey,
alpharex00 wrote:
Imagion. wrote:
Hey,

I could actually imagine this. Rolling Eyes  


You mean u liked it?  

Hehehe, you have a creative imagination.

alpharex00

Rank 4
alpharex00
Joined
11 Jun 2011
Posts
2318
Location
Istanbul Turkey
PostedApr 04, 2012 2:15 am
Imagion. wrote:
Hey,
alpharex00 wrote:
Imagion. wrote:
Hey,

I could actually imagine this. Rolling Eyes  


You mean u liked it?  

Hehehe, you have a creative imagination.  


Thx.

need awesome siggy?:Rex's siggy shop LuckyBox

Dubblew

Rank 4
Dubblew
Joined
29 Feb 2012
Posts
2446
Location
In Portugal
PostedApr 04, 2012 6:22 am
Good: Nice imagination, I really liked how you put this together, it's awesome to read and imagine what's happening at the same time as you read, good job there, you gave us a nice small story, you should keep doing this Very Happy

Bad: Don't be to repetitive, I notice in some sentences that you repeat the same words too much. Make paragraphs also, if you write it all in one single paragraph it gets to confusing and fuzzy.

Overall: I liked it and I hope you keep doing this till you get to the Chapter: Grave Yard xD Good job Rex.

alpharex00

Rank 4
alpharex00
Joined
11 Jun 2011
Posts
2318
Location
Istanbul Turkey
PostedApr 04, 2012 6:25 am
Dubblew wrote:
Good: Nice imagination, I really liked how you put this together, it's awesome to read and imagine what's happening at the same time as you read, good job there, you gave us a nice small story, you should keep doing this Very Happy

Bad: Don't be to repetitive, I notice in some sentences that you repeat the same words too much. Make paragraphs also, if you write it all in one single paragraph it gets to confusing and fuzzy.

Overall: I liked it and I hope you keep doing this till you get to the Chapter: Grave Yard xD Good job Rex.  


Thx i will keep writing and k Very Happy

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Dubblew

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Dubblew
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Posts
2446
Location
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PostedApr 04, 2012 8:52 am
No problem, keep on writing, go beyond limits Very Happy

alpharex00

Rank 4
alpharex00
Joined
11 Jun 2011
Posts
2318
Location
Istanbul Turkey
PostedApr 04, 2012 9:02 am
Dubblew wrote:
No problem, keep on writing, go beyond limits Very Happy  


At saturday i'll post a new one.I hope people will like it.

need awesome siggy?:Rex's siggy shop LuckyBox

Imagion.

Rank 4
Imagion.
Joined
14 Apr 2011
Posts
2101
Location
Melbourne Australia
PostedApr 04, 2012 4:25 pm
Hey,
alpharex00 wrote:
Dubblew wrote:
No problem, keep on writing, go beyond limits Very Happy  


At saturday i'll post a new one.I hope people will like it.  

Hahaha, make it a tradition. ^^
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