~ Yeah yeah. I know. I know what you all are thinking.
-pulls out a blowhorn- *HONK!* WHOO!!! NEW STORY!!! YES!!!
A dude. And his sprite.
M0MBer: This is SOOOOOOO cool! Hey Splunker! Guess what?!
Splunker: Yes sir?
M0MBer: Aww, you're not guessing!
Splunker: You would tell me anyway thoug-
M0MBer: Whatever! I'll tell you anyway!
Splunker: ... (Facepalm.)
M0MBer: So okay, the awesome GM team and other rulers of Grand Fantasia just allowed Sprites, that includes you, to be able to! (Dramatic pause.)
Splunker: If you're talking about the weapon system, I'm just gonna say that I had an opprotunity to go to Sprite's Battle Elite School just before I was picked to be your Sprite.
M0MBer: DUN DUN DUN! Sprites, like you, get to wield weapons now! ISN'T THAT GREAT?! (
Splunker: ... Sprite Kings, only they and the other divinites, know why as to Fate picked me to be your Sprite. ( '_'; )
M0MBer: What are you going on about? Aren't you happy? ( o.o? )
Out in Sprite's Forest.
M0MBer: Okay so Splunker, are these scary, malicous, face-painted, angry -looking sprites the ones who certify you in wielding stuff?
Splunker: Yes sir.
M0MBer: (o_o') Maybe... We're in the wrong place? I mean, these sprites don't look very friendly at all.....
Splunker: Who? Phil, Joe, and Robert? They're nice.
M0MBer: ... You know these guys?!
Splunker: I went to Sprite's Enchantments School with them. They always got in trouble so they stood out. A lot.
With Phil, Joe, and Robert.
) SPLUNKER! NO LONG TIME SEE!
Splunker: Yeah, yeah...
Phil: How's sprite messenger's follower doing?
Splunker: Eh... Could've been with a slower messenger.
Phil: That fun huh? At least you're not stuck doing dragon disabiling drills with newbies.
Splunker: Why's that?
Joe: ( D: ) They take out the dragon dummys' heads with javelins.
Splunker: Wow. That sucks.
Robert: OKAY YOU HERE AND THAT FUNNY LOOKING MESSENGER! ARE YOU HERE TO GET CERTIFICATION IN SPRITE'S BATTLE WEAPON WIELDING FOR SPRITE FOLLOWERS?!
M0MBer: (O_O) Yes, uhh, sir.
Robert: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
M0MBer: (X_X!!!) SIR, YES WE ARE HERE FOR THAT! SIR!!! YES YES!!!
Phil: I can see this guy is rather gullible.
Splunker: You have no idea.
And so Splunker and M0MBer get somethings worked out, blah, blah, blah.
M0MBer: So is that everything to it right? (
) Splunker should be ready to go!
Robert: NOT SO FAST THERE, YOU SILLY SPAZZERNOID SNAIL OF A HUMAN MESSENGER! WE ARE NOT DONE WITH 'THE' LAST AND 'THE' BEST AND 'THE' FINAL THING!
M0MBer: ( D: ) Really?
Splunker: You didn't have to emphasize 'the' so much. All I'm gonna do if fight Timmy and Bryce...
Robert: SPLUNKER HERE HAS TO FIGHT OUR FRIENDLY WEAPON MASTER TRAINERS TO SHOW THAT HE IS, IN FACT, READY AND ABLE TO FIGHT WITH ALL HIS MIGHT IN A REAL WORLD SITUATION WHEN YOU CALL UPON HIM FOR ASSISTANCE IN YOUR LAME, HANDICAPPED SWINGING THAT YOU HUMANS CALL AS "FIGHTING".
Splunker: ... I'm not sure as to why everyone doesn't hear me today but I'm absolutely sure that what you just said is true only for this guy.
M0MBer: ( :O ) I get to call on Splunker for help?!
Splunker: ... (Facepalm.)
M0MBer: Where do we meet the trainers at?
Robert: JUST RIGHT OVER HERE WHERE MOST PEOPLE DON'T REALLY REALIZE SINCE WE TELL THEM COORDINATES AND THEY HAVE TO PULL OUT A MAP AND TAKE APROXIMATELY 10 MINUTES TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I TELL THEM TO GO.
M0MBer: What coordinates?
Splunker: Forget that, it's just here by this tree just a few feet from where we are standing.
Robert: SINCE YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD LISTENING AND WELL-BEHAVED YOUNG HUMAN, I MIGHT AS WELL SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE AND GOOD WASTE OF TEN MINUTES WHILE YOU COULD BE OUT THERE SLAYING SOME REALLY DANGEROUS '(!!!) EVVIIILLLLLLL (!!!)'!!! JUST GO TO THIS TREE RIGHT OVER HERE AND IN MOMENT OUR TRAINERS WILL COME OUT AND APPEAR BEFORE YOU FOR A FIGHT!
Splunker: ... (Facepalm.) I'm just gonna sit down here.
Splunker sits down next to the tree and waits. For a good ten minutes.
M0MBer: ... I thought you said they will appear in a moment?
Robert: JUST WAIT A BIT MORE.
Splunker: Honestly, this is kind of pointless. I could just show you my Sprite's Danger Predator Tournament trophies if that would count?
And all of a sudden two large sprites jump down from the tree for a surprise attack on tiny Splunker!!!
M0MBer: ( D: ) Uh oh! Splunker look out!!! (X.X!!!)
Splunker: ... Not that 'trick' again. ( >_> )
And in just less then a minute.....
M0MBer: ( OO...) Oh. Em. GEE.
Splunker: ... That was entirely too easy.
M0MBer: HOLY CRAP! SPLUNKER HOW DID YOU DISABLE THEM OF THEIR SHARP WEAPONS AND TAKE THEM DOWN SO QUICKLY?! THAT ONE SPRITE HAD LIKE A SUPER MEAN LOOKING SCYTHE AIMED STRAIGHT FOR YOU WHILE THE OTHER ONE HAD A WICKED LOOKING AXE THAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER AND REALLY REALLY GRILLED SWISS CHEESE!!!!!
Splunker: You're kidding right?
M0MBer: (Flails arms widley around while talking fast.) OH-EM-GEE-THAT-WAS-SO-REALLY-COOL-THAT-NOT-EVEN-MY-EYES-COULD-BELIEVE-WHEN-I-SAW-YOU-TAKE-AWAY-THAT-AXE-AND-SLICE-THE-SCYTHE-AND-THEN-KICK-THAT-SCYTHE-WIELDER-DOWN-AND-THEN-SPUN-AROUND-AND-NAILED-THE-AXE-DUDE-WITH-YOUR-KICK-ALSO!
Splunker: Again. Too. Easy.
Timmy: (T^T) Sirrr~... Splunker is too hard to fight.
Bryce: (X.T) Yeah... And to scare.
Phil: ( >_> ) Don't you mean surprise attack?
) Haha! Timmy and Bryce got beat by Splunker again! Haha! Timmy and Bryce score - 0! Splunker score - 237!
M0MBer: ( OO)
Splunker: You kept score? How?
Joe: Hehe~... I follow your Twitter. (
Splunker: Oh yeah...
So Splunker is registred and all is set.
Robert: HMM HMM! EVERYTHING IS DONE AND COMPLETED! CONGRATS AND GOOD LUCK FIGHTING '(!!!) EVVILLLLLLL (!!!)'!!!!
M0MBer: Thank you! Bye bye!!
) Toodles! Hope to see you again Splunker!
Phil: (>_>) ... Kick monster butt.
Splunker: Will do.
Timmy and Bryce: (T^T) We'll be ready to beat you next time! Stay strong!
Splunker: Mhm... (Mutters under breath.) As if...
M0MBer: C'mon Splunker! Let's go beat up EVIL!!!
Splunker: Do. Not. Start.
Announcement: Attention all Sprite Messengers! Xerxes just appeared in Belcar Platuea! Please come and help defeat this evil!
M0MBer: ( XX!!!) EVIL!!!!
Splunker: Oh gods... (Facepalm.)
M0MBer: C'MON SPLUNKER! LET'S KILL XERXES TOGETHER!!!
Splunker: Please go buy a Gaia's Blessing 4 first.
And so M0MBer and Splunker went to fight Xerxes together as a team!
Splunker: Why does 'team' sound to cheery?
M0MBer: Cuz we are a team! YAY!!!
Splunker: ... I question my fate with you yet again.
M0MBer: Xerxes! I challenge you for I am!
Splunker: Ugh. Not again.
M0MBer: (Full out caps rage.) I AM NONE OTHER THEN 'THE' GREAT M0MBer!!! AND HERE IS MY SPRITE WHO IS A NEWLY CERTIFIED FIGHTER-
Splunker: Why did you bring me into that?
M0MBer: AND WE ARE HERE TO NOT ONLY AQUIRE SOME FAME AND SOME NICE EXPERIENCE BUT TO KICK. YOUR. EVIL. MUTATED KITTY-LIKE. BUTT. I AM M0MBer, HEAR ME ROAR!
Splunker: More like motor mouth...
Xerxes: (Best imitation of a British accent.) Challenge accepted.
Splunker: ... (Facepalm, again.) Why me...
...And just in a few seconds...
[M0MBer is dead.]
M0MBer: (T^T!!!) RUN SPLUNKER RUN!!!!! SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!
Splunker: ... Okay just listen to me and use that Gaia Blessing 4.
M0MBer: But I didn't buy one!
Splunker: I went out and got one and stuffed it in your pocket.
[M0MBer is revived!]
M0MBer: Let's get out of here Splunker!
Splunker: Momento. Wait a few steps back.
M0MBer: Umm.. O-kay.... Wait. What are you doing?! Get away Splunker, hurry!
Splunker steps foward to Xerxes.
Xerxes: (Still using fake British accent.) What is this? Is this puny Sprite Follower REALLY gonna fight me? Bwahahahah! How ridiculous! Bwahahah!
Splunker: ... You do know everyone knows your 'accent' is completely fake.
M0MBer: Wait, fake accent?
Splunker: .......... Except him.
Xerxes: (Highly offended and still using accent except on last word.) How DARE you! I will RIP YOU APART!
M0MBer: ( O,O!) He really was using a fake accent!!!
Splunker: Ugh, why are you gullible.
Xerxes: (Somehow uses the accent.) RAWRRRRRRRR!!!!!
And just in a minute.
Announcement: Xerxes is defeated by Splunker the Sprite.
Splunker: ... Hey, look at this Timmy and Bryce.
M0MBer: (OO <- Wider then plate saucers.)
Splunker: ... Heh. I forgot I put that as my Victory Speech.
Joe: The score is sitting at 238 now!
Phil: He didn't Twitter this yet did he?
M0MBer: (Stares at Splunker. OO.....)
Splunker: ... Heh. Funny.
~ The End ~
~ Hehe~ I think my stories are getting sort of longer XP
Oh well! More fun for you guys
!!! And me <3
I *almost* wish that Sprites could do this. Almost.
Splunker - Facepalm count: 5