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Ildauna

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Ildauna
Joined
03 Mar 2008
Posts
469
Location
Rogers United States
PostedJul 23, 2008 11:59 am
Very nice fan fiction! Nice twists too! Good job!

You are a very gifted writer, Sdu.

Keep it coming! I love it!!

I like how you observe everyone's fighting style/strategy and turned it into ideas for your fan fiction.

I like how you describe Mojo and Tessa worked together.

And how Extreme looked down on Furies from top of hills and prey on squishies Smile

Extreme tooooo strong!!! (Extreme will eventually get stun locked by some assasin, got rooted, and then got gang up by 4-5 vengeful furies.....but still made it out alive thanks to Pulitzer, her trustworthy companion)

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Ildauna

Rank 2
Ildauna
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469
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Rogers United States
PostedJul 23, 2008 12:02 pm

Re: Proelium Madness

sdu wrote:
==== Teos ====
"Pika-CHU~!" They moved forward to attack the Furies, advancing in a deadly display of martial arts.

One of them sprang at Wisp in a forward somersault and delivered a fast flurry of blows upon his body, exhaling with the sound of "Chu~!" as each blow landed. It was all the Veil could do to stand and watch.

Wisp, however, was unfazed by the attacked, and swatted his assailant aside with one flick of an axe. The creature sailed through the air past its brethren and landed with a pitiful "ch.. uh... oooo".  


I laughed out loud.

sambodini

Rank 4
sambodini
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1768
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Anchorage United States
PostedJul 23, 2008 12:03 pm
Im so impatient when I have to wait for next episodes... Confused hehe but yeah. its awesome Razz

Ildauna

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Ildauna
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469
Location
Rogers United States
PostedJul 23, 2008 12:34 pm
One small request though, can you make Extreme stay a female character?

Also, I would like to post a little bio on Extreme that I am working on later that might help give you some idea when you have the writter's block *wink*

Edit * adding a simple background bio about Extreme*

In ancient times, when Goddess Etein created world Teos with her own flesh, she created the Dragons first. The race of Dragon is by far much superior in power than that of Nordeins and Dumianas, later known as Death Eaters and the Humans.

When Nordeins and Dumians questioned the soverignty of Goddess Etein and betrayed Her, the Dragons stayed faithful to Goddess Etein and fight off the Alliance of Nordeins and Dumianas. However, Goddess Etein was eventually defeated and murdered. Her soul torn into two, and the Dragons hide themselve away from the rest of Teos.

It was believed that Kirins are descendants of Dragon race and the human race during the Time of Chaos. Their true origin, no one knows. They called themselves Kirins of Holy Light. Kirins believes in bring balance back to their world. They are loyal followers of Goddess of Light. Their leader, the "The Lightbringer", bears the mark of Holy Light on both hands. The Mark of Holy Light grants its bearer tremendous physical power that is equal to a dragon and surpass anyone have seen. The Mark can only be passed on when its bearer is near the end of his life.

The Mark of Light was passed down to Extreme from her mentor in the last ferocious battle defending hordes of Nordeins at Altar of Proelium. In his last breath, he forced Extreme to take on the responsibility to lead the Kirins of Holy Light in defending Delphinian Fortress.

It was soon enough Extreme has made herself known to her Nordein enemies as a fearsome fighter on the battle field at Proelium Frontier.

*I am not a good writer and my first language is not English Razz but at least I give my best shot at writting this little bio for Extreme *

sambodini

Rank 4
sambodini
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Posts
1768
Location
Anchorage United States
PostedJul 23, 2008 4:14 pm
English IS my first language, i think you write better than I do Laughing

Actually, English is my only language, unless you count a few words of spanish, and like 1 word of japanese, and slovakian. yes random i know, but when you work at a fish cannery you pick up random stuff.
But enough of my tangent!

tessa25

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tessa25
Joined
18 Jan 2008
Posts
160
Location
Warren United States
PostedJul 23, 2008 5:17 pm

omg wisp

u r a genius!!!!!!
if u did not hit me and mojo right on the nose!!!
u even got how i run and scream from extreme if only he could hear the way i scream at mojo as soon as we seen him grace the hill top.
keep it coming i will have to book mark this and check it every day now.
see u all in 1-15 in 20 lvls Smile

sdu

Rank 1
Joined
29 May 2008
Posts
380
Location
Manchester United Kingdom
PostedJul 23, 2008 7:01 pm
Ildauna wrote:
One small request though, can you make Extreme stay a female character?

*  


Your wish is my command Cool

tessa25 wrote:
u r a genius!!!!!!
if u did not hit me and mojo right on the nose!!!
u even got how i run and scream from extreme if only he could hear the way i scream at mojo as soon as we seen him grace the hill top.
keep it coming i will have to book mark this and check it every day now.
see u all in 1-15 in 20 lvls Smile  


And Tessa lol.

=Wisp= Let's do it again sometime

sdu

Rank 1
Joined
29 May 2008
Posts
380
Location
Manchester United Kingdom
PostedJul 24, 2008 9:04 pm   Last edited by sdu on Aug 08, 2008 9:00 am. Edited 3 times in total
==== Threads of stories ====

When Wisp was struck down, the sun had just risen.

When Extreme had turned the tide of battle, the sun was high in the sky.

Now the sun was setting and three dejected looking figures were making their way slowly along the dusty road back to Gliter.

"I can't cast spells if my nose is blocked, can I?" Moaned Nautica.

"Wisp is dead and you're still whining," Replied Ares. "If you weren't sniffing mushroom dust every day you wouldn't have a head full of fungi-snot in the first place. Now hurry, it will soon be night and Gliter is many hours away."

The three companions were silent for a while as they continued their journey.

As darkness descended they saw a glow in the distance down the road. They were able to make the outline of a city's walls and gatehouse.

"Let us stop here for the night and continue in the morn'." Said Fanta. "My bones ache and im hungry again." She took out a green benio from her food pack, peeled off the skin and began to munch on the sweet fruit.

Ares tried to make himself heard over the eating sounds emanating from Fanta. "Yeah, let's do that. Maybe some town girls will be awake still?" He half mused to himself.

They veered off the main road-way to take the side path leading towards the city. After a short time they could make out its walls - a cheap wooden pallisade, and the gate guarded by two vicious looking Veil, each holding a pair of sharp swords, unsheathed and pointed towards the ground.

Ares cleared his throat. "Hail, comrades. Any news from the front?"

He was met by stone cold silence that was only broken by Fanta's noisy chewing.

"Any objections if we spend the night in your fair city?" Ares ventured.

The only indication the guards had heard him was a slight sneer that appeared on one of the guards faces which turned into a scowl as Fanta sucked and licked her fingers one by one.

A sword tip waved them in.

Cautiously the three travellers moved past the guards and made their way into the city. It wasn't long until the strangeness of the place became apparent.

"Everything's so... quiet." Whispered Nautica.

Even the crackle of the torches seemed subdued.

"Let's find an Inn and be done with this place as fast as we can." Ares peered into the night until he made out a sign swinging softly that advertised beds for rent. "Over there," he gestured briefly, and they walked hastily towards the Inn, almost as though they were being chased by some unknown horror.

The door to the Inn stood before them and Nautica gave it an experimental push. It opened with an audible and drawn out squeaking sound that seemed to rip through the night like an unwanted visitor.

They paused expectantly outside, trying in vain to make something of the darkened interior. A faint whiff of cabbage greeted them.

Ares cleared his throat. "Hello?" He ventured.

Time trickled on into a strained silence.

Slowly and deliberately, he entered the Inn, followed by Nautica and Fanta. By the light of a single candle they could make out the desk it rested upon, and a shadowy figure hunched over behind it. A few more steps and the shadow moved slightly, its attention diverted towards them.

"Yeeesss? Can i help you?" The slow voice of an old man spoke. The trio approached the shadow with less wariness now and as they neared made out the speakers features.

It is said that Human's evolved from apes, or that the Goddess at least took part of an ape and transformed it into humans. This tale is vehemently denied by humans of course. If humans had evolved from apes then the Veil before them may well of evolved from prunes, his wrinkly blue skin defying anyone to find a smooth patch in it.

Ares tried a smile and was met with a toothless response, decayed breath sallying forth from the innkeepers mouth.

Trying to hold his breath, Ares spoke in a rush "Would-it-be-possible-for-us-to-have-three-beds-forthenight?" His face looking slightly strained as he discovered he had no air reserves left and may be forced to inhale again very soon.

"Ehh? Beds is it?" The aged man cackled.

"Yes!" Gasped Ares. Fanta and Nautica retreated a few steps.

Slowly the old man rose and reached behind himself. He turned back to them with a key in his outstretched hand. Swiftly Ares snatched it up and uttered a muffled "Thanks" as he buried his face in the crook of his arm.

Without bothering to ask for directions, they hurried up the stairs and Ares tried the key in several doors before finding the right one.

A loud thump on the floor caused Ares to turn round. Fanta was crouched over the prone form of Nautica.

"Breathe! Breathe!" Fanta was shaking Nautica violently. "Breathe, dammit!"

Nautica choked in a lungful of air and coughed it back out again, and Fanta released him.

A minute later Nautica was back on his feet. "Ye gods...I thought Wisp's arse smelled bad but this... this is something else. No need to fight the Alliance when we can have an army of old men just open their mouths and mow them all down."

Ares just shook his head and wearily made his way to bed.

=Wisp= Let's do it again sometime

laurethew

Rank 0
Joined
30 May 2008
Posts
4
Location
Minneapolis United States
PostedJul 25, 2008 1:09 am
sdu!!! I love it! gah! Its brilliant! I love how you incorporated fant's loud eating noises! Keep it up! I'm looking forward to the next post!

sdu

Rank 1
Joined
29 May 2008
Posts
380
Location
Manchester United Kingdom
PostedJul 25, 2008 6:10 am
laurethew wrote:
sdu!!! I love it! gah! Its brilliant! I love how you incorporated fant's loud eating noises! Keep it up! I'm looking forward to the next post!  


<3 Lauren

=Wisp= Let's do it again sometime
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