"Another one dead, that's the fourth one today, these terrorists are getting, out of control."
"Stop your talking private, he is just a person."
"Yes sir, Captain Mail."
"Maybe it's time to test the needle."
"No... No... No... Sir, not on him."
"That's what you said about the rest of them, it's time for you to become a man. I'll get the needle out"
Mail grabs a long pointy needle out of his backpack. He walks towards the fallen soldier.
"I can't let you do that captain."
"Let go of me private! That's a order!"
Private begins to turn into a big... bad... Guardian Wolf.
"What... What are you!?"
Private knocks Captain Mail down, and carries him to the nearby preschool, and enrolls him.
"NO NOT NAP TIME!!!"