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MiaBebe

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MiaBebe
Joined
22 Oct 2015
Posts
1
Location
fjerritslev Denmark
PostedJul 10, 2017 3:10 am

A work in progress

Story which I'm not done with yet. I need ideas and help to continue
It all started a stormy night where you could hear the wing howling in the trees in the horizon. I was trying to follow the path that you had created in the snow trails but the storm passing through made it hard to see where you had gone. One thing stood clear: I had to find you and I had to find you and fast, as the snowstorm became thicker and thicker.

I couldn't see where you were going anymore but I could still see a red aura in the horizon. I knew it was you. I don't know why I knew it was you, I just did, so I keep following it. Suddenly it picked up the pace making it impossible to keep up, so I had to see cover in an old cottage nearby and stay there until the storm had passed.

When I got to the cottage, I couldn't see anything inside it, so I thought it was safe to enter, so I did. I searched for some light but I couldn't find anything but a little candle in the middle of the living room, a room filled with old books with some ancient writing on it. I knew this was not a regular cottage, but home for one of the old Shamans whom had long passed away from our cursed village. I knew, I had to be careful because there could be traps everywhere to prevent citizens of the villages to go here. I carefully walked around, looking for some faded light on the floor, the walls or in the roof, and the closer I got to the candle in the middle of the living room, the more and more faded light I could see. I knew I had to get to the light to be able to see anything, so I carefully stepped between the many faded lights but suddenly a bright light outside the cottage shined upon the cottage, and I got blinded and stepped on one of the faded light traps.

A mystical aura appeared in front of me and everything became so bright that my eyes started to hurt. I put my hand up to cover my eyes but it didn't help, the light became brighter and brighter, but what's that? In the middle of the bright light, a dark aura started to appear, and I knew this was bad, but when I tried to make a run for it, the aura had already trapped me in another spell. I was now unable to see and unable to move, vulnerable to anything that might happen.

The Aura changes and out from it walks a tall man with a lot of scars on his body. I look at him still unable to move and all he whispers is: Go. I don't understand at first what it is he means but before I can try to move again, I'm suddenly outside the cottage and the storm is gone. I turn around to look at the cottage, but it is no longer there and then I feel a burning pain on my left arm. I look at it, and I see a weird wound looking like a cut from a blade of some sort. I pass out as the pain is unbelievable.

~ I can act kinky and flirtish. I do it when I feel like doing it ~ ♥
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Oikawwas

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Oikawwas
Joined
24 May 2016
Posts
151
Location
Portugal
PostedJul 16, 2017 4:16 pm
The plot is interesting, actually. I just think (and this is simply my opinion) that you could've used a "She kept following the light - "I know it's him, I don't know how but I know it's him"" instead of the 1st person during the whole text. Also how you sometimes keep repeating either the same words or the same expressions however I do enjoy it, it is interesting. Would be nice to keep reading!


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