Author Message

michaelxushi

Rank 0
michaelxushi
Joined
28 Mar 2013
Posts
121
Location
Denmark
PostedMay 01, 2013 2:46 am
Heh~~~

Just reread it, and got to say it improved quite a bit on the first half.
But... The second half is still kinda, um, improvable.
It's not like it's bad, but Karl is talking a Lot, and some more space would be nice ^^

Me: Lazy, perverted, talkative, got lots of interests, otaku.... That more or less sums me up XD.
Advertisement

Huntersteel85

Rank 0
Huntersteel85
Joined
04 Mar 2009
Posts
113
Location
United States
PostedMay 01, 2013 2:38 pm
(o3o)

gryffon011

Rank 0
gryffon011
Joined
08 Feb 2013
Posts
64
Location
Deland United States
PostedMay 01, 2013 7:39 pm
Are you referring to Karl's first speech, or the second that he gives just to the chosen teams? Cuz I haven't touched the second one yet. Planning on adding some dialogue from the trainees and want to flesh out my descriptions before doing that. But I got stuck on team 3 since we got really busy at work this week.

Huntersteel85

Rank 0
Huntersteel85
Joined
04 Mar 2009
Posts
113
Location
United States
PostedMay 01, 2013 8:19 pm
o.O

O O
/////
3
we?

michaelxushi

Rank 0
michaelxushi
Joined
28 Mar 2013
Posts
121
Location
Denmark
PostedMay 02, 2013 5:58 am
Yea it's his second speech.
His first one is actually pretty nice ^^

Though you did write that you had only made some tweaks in the first half~

Me: Lazy, perverted, talkative, got lots of interests, otaku.... That more or less sums me up XD.

Huntersteel85

Rank 0
Huntersteel85
Joined
04 Mar 2009
Posts
113
Location
United States
PostedMay 02, 2013 4:30 pm
oh
Display posts from previous:   Sort by: