Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Steven Seagal at night before bed.
Chuck Norris once destroyed the entire periodic table of elements, because the only element Chuck believes in is the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris is the only person to have passed when fighting Gandalf.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, he does push downs. Because when he pushes the entire world moves down.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, hunting implies one can fail. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris sued the makers of the TV series Law & Order for stealing the names of his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is a raiding party.
When the Zombies come, Chuck will be waiting.