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CloudAcolyte

Rank 1
CloudAcolyte
Joined
01 Sep 2010
Posts
216
Location
Canada
PostedFeb 25, 2013 1:51 pm
This is one of the issues in todays culture... blaming the victim for not having enough courage to "deal" with a bullies words. Humans have a built in mechanism called "Fight or Flight". Generally, when you're threatened as often as we are as LGBT people... every...single... day, we DO build an immunity, eventually, but we also build up a response to those negative actions... that is flight, normally identified as ignoring the perpetrators. The best way to ignore a bully is to remove yourself from the situation... in this example, they believed removing themselves from the game was the equivalent solution.

Why do you people feel the need to kick the poor guy when he's down? "Can't handle the internet, don't go on it?" Honestly, you'd tell that to a group that is 8x more likely to commit suicide to those who aren't LGBT? Just quit and don't leave home if you can't handle the hostile environment? Pfft, I suggest you do not become a school Councillor... I don't want your negativity anywhere near my future children. >.>

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Short_Amigo

Rank 4
Short_Amigo
Joined
16 Apr 2008
Posts
2327
Location
A place in Canada
PostedFeb 25, 2013 2:27 pm
skylar.j.hawk wrote:
@ hollowinga, gewk and sweetdevil

The existence of rude or harassing people on the internet is not justification for them. Admittedly, having a thick skin will save you from some emotional hurt when dealing with those people online.

However, statements like "if people are mean to you on the internet, don't go on the internet" merely mock the offended and encourages online bullies to think that they can make people they don't like go away by harassing them.

Instead of accepting that internet bullies exist and ignoring them, accept that they exist, but don't tolerate their behavior. Have the courage to tell someone else that they're out of line for picking on someone else (in a constructive way), or speak up for the person being picked on.  


I agree with this.

Now can't say you are fully 100% wrong guys, people should obtain some thick skin to themselves. There is a thing being too sensitive and letting things get to you that shouldn't get to you. Example: If you are offended because one person called you poopyhead once, then you probably should build up that confidence of yours.

Onto my next point, no matters if it's teasing or something minor they are picking on him/her for, harassment is harassment. If they do it often enough, that's wrong. People tend to forget that others play games for fun and as a sanctuary from problems they have in life. Being insulting and acting like a jerk may not only just hurt their feelings. Just because the internet grants some anonymity to the basic user is no excuse for you to act like a jerk to another person.

And finish off with a quote which rings some truth to the aspect of bullying:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt

iBambi

Rank 5
iBambi
Joined
05 Oct 2010
Posts
4849
Location
Whale hunting in Norway
PostedFeb 25, 2013 2:35 pm
I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

@ everyone saying it's just the net, cyber-bullying can be just as bad as bullying face to face. What one person deems as insulting, can be shrugged off as a joke for someone else. It's always the victim that sets the line between some "friendly" teasing and bullying, not the person doing it, and when that line is set, everyone else need to respect it.

Jueldia

Rank 0
Jueldia
Joined
01 Sep 2012
Posts
65
Location
United States
PostedFeb 25, 2013 6:05 pm
I'm kind of in the middle here...

I AGREE that if you can't handle the internet, you shouldn't be on it, because there are going to be bad people on the internet. There is no way to avoid them, they have anonymity and if they're gonna use it to be an *******, there isn't very much you can do to stop them. It isn't about blaming/mocking the victim as much as it's about how DIFFICULT it is to punish someone for being an ******* over the internet.

I AGREE that you shouldn't just allow those bad people to be bad people without consequences, and "let them win" as it were. As if it isn't harmful what they do, which it is. But there's a limit to what you can "do" to someone over the internet to dissuade them from being a complete *******. You can block them so you don't have to listen to their statements. You can report them for harassment and hope they eventually get enough black marks that they get banned from the game. You can even try and talk to them, hoping you can change their opinion and enlighten a bigot.

But the truth is, this is how the internet IS right now, and until the rules of the internet change and people are more readily held accountable for their actions here, there's very little you can do besides scolding them... which isn't a great deterrent.

YOU have to be the bigger person, because if you give in to their harassment and leave, you're encouraging them to do it to others because they enjoyed the reaction they got out of YOU.

This is why I'm very handy with the block button. Block block block. It's not the best solution, but it's the quickest and easiest way to shut them up.

Server: Sapphire Characters: Nataleigh, Dehlia, Lauryl

Risquette

Rank 2
Risquette
Joined
06 Nov 2010
Posts
448
Location
United States
PostedFeb 25, 2013 7:16 pm

Re: Cyber teasing and bullying

a friend of mine has quit
sworddmn wrote:
today i just found out a mate of mine has deleted his char on eden eternal because some high lvl players where teasing him with his sexuality which i think is very immature and so lame because now that aeria have allowed the making of homesexual couple wont see things like that??  


I played Eden Eternal for a long time. I served on the GS team for about a year before retiring. As a woman who prefers other women (I am married to a GS who still plays, Hi Serah-love!) I never had a problem within the game and I am sorry that you have. People, for some reason, have an impressive ability to make others feel very, very small - that within itself is sad - and it is mostly because they are not comfortable with themselves or feel the need to tease others.

I assure you that there are plenty of other people out there who are not afflicted with this stigma inside EE, and while I was pretty outspoken about my orientation while playing it never became a problem. However, I also carried tags at that time. Please, like the GS up above linked, there is a place to report things like this and Aeria takes these offenses very seriously.

Do not be a passive victim. Act with wisdom, but act.

llMiraiNikki

Rank 0
llMiraiNikki
Joined
19 Mar 2012
Posts
48
Location
Wouldn't you like to know. Canada
PostedFeb 27, 2013 2:07 pm
Gahloman wrote:
Even though that the issue at hand was out of "my" particular control, I sincerely apologize for the harassment that your friend had to endure.

However, I wish you and your friend to know that Aeria does not condone such acts of harassment. Also know that you do not need to deal with harassment put onto you or your friends. If you see anything like that occurring, take screenshots of the incident and send them in the form of a Game Support ticket so that proper measures can be taken.  


I agree with what Gahlo posted.
If you, your friend or anyone else feels like they're being harassed, take a screen shot and send in a ticket.

I know how it feels to be bullied and it isn't nice. The best thing you can do is support your friend and stand up for them. That's what friends are for right?
Just act within reason so that you or your friend(s) don't get in trouble.

GM/GS's are here to help but they can't always get to every problem on the server(s).

I hope you and your friend continue to play Eden Eternal. There are more friendly people on Eden than there are jerks c: . Feel free to add me in game too. HKisland
I play on the Sapphire server.

Cheers!

PoolHooss

GameSage: Eden Eternal
PoolHooss
Joined
12 Nov 2011
Posts
1234
Location
The Desert, WA United States
PostedMar 05, 2013 3:58 pm
I've been cyber-bullied myself before, and needless to say I didn't take to it well. While I can understand the OP's point of view..it's far easier to ignore over the internet than real life. On top of that, it's not just the young that are immature..I've met players well into their adult life that act like children in this very game. It's not only retained to games either (look into the Yahoo Answers forums and you'll see what I mean), and the best way to avoid it is to simply ignore it. And like the GS's stated, just screenshot it next time.

Noblewine

Rank 0
Noblewine
Joined
13 Feb 2013
Posts
50
Location
Charleston United States
PostedMar 06, 2013 10:01 pm
Sorry to hear you friend jetted on you. He'll probably come around or maybe not. Being bullied isn't fun and left after it happening. I can relate.
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