Sorry Retro.. but maybe you should stick with playing the game, not writing about it...
This story really has no thought put into it, and it seems like it was written in a quick, short burst on a whim. If you continue, here are some tips you might want to look at.
Plan Ahead: Seriously! Where do you want this story to go? Where's the end point? You as the author are the only one who can decide, and you have to take us there. Next time you write, sit down in a quiet place, and take serious time deciding how you want the story to be, its tone and mood, and how you're going to use your structure.
Don't Cover Too Much: You have a great story to tell, but we need some more to it. What you have right now gives us the background information and suspense for a plot that a pre-schoolers story-time book does. You need to spend more time with each subject. His entire personality should have taken three pages to cover, and be developed further as the story goes on; not in thre sentences at the start.
Dialogue, Dialogue, Dialogue: I know it's scary, but you have to use it. You need other characters, and much much much more speech between them.