contemporary...
Wei: wei to go (the conquered china just after Sima Yi's death.)
Wu: wu hoo (wa hoo)
Shu: trouble maker (you need to say shoo, go away to liu bei because everywhere he went got captured by cao cao.)
Ma Chao: my cao (cao cao took so much land that you want to have him for yourself if you're gonna conquer the world)
lost...
Yuan Shao: Relic of the past (a nobleman who got swept away by cao cao's ambition.)
Dong Zhuo: Dunce Zone (to stupid to see how he would be betrayed.)
Lu Bu: Lu Boo Boo (I've never lost to him.

)
neutral...
Gongsun Zan: Brown noser (always followed the Yuan family.)
Ma Teng: Restorationist (tried to assassinate cao cao and restore the Han.)
Nanman: Jungle people
Liu Biao: Interference (killed Sun Jian but never did any other major achievements.)
Liu Yao: doomed (stood right where Sun Ce's first target was.)